Ji and the City

I Think of Them

2009-12-25T14:37:00.003-05:00

Today is Christmas. It is, in many ways, our first Christmas. We stayed home this year. Happy to miss the holiday travel. Sad to miss time with my family. We got our first tree. We call it the "little runt" tree. It's tiny and so imperfect. We decorated it with all silver and "crystal." Mr. Ji calls it my bling tree because of the fake diamonds hanging from it. It is mis-shapen. The little tree that no one else, surely, would have wanted. It's perfect really.

Embracing Christmas, wholly, for the first time has made me very happy. I've enjoyed being a part of the season. Listening to the Temptations singing carols has been delightful. Wrapping gifts in shiny silver and gold paper has been a joy. After rejecting Christmas for many years now because I am not Christian; I have recalled why Christmas is one of my fondest childhood memories.

None of this joy, though, would be within me were it not for my 2.5 year old twins. They are the reason for the joy. Their pureness has filled me with emotions that I still am unable to define. My daughters squeals of delight as she opens a gift are transforming. My sons serious play with his trucks is something to behold.

This holiday, I am beyond blessed because of my children and my husband. But I remember in an instant how it felt to not have children - and to want them desperately. The alone-ness, the emptiness, the sadness. The wondering, doubting, the losing of hope. It's all right there. Just under this surface of joy. It became a part of me. It is part of my her-story. It has irreversibly changed me. I don't want to ever forget it either. Perhaps, remembering helps me to appreciate my children even more. Maybe, maybe not.

One thing is for sure though. Today on Christmas, I think of them. I think of those who still exist in that world of emptiness and longing. I think of those who are in pain today and I pray that you don't give up hope. Don't ever give up hope.

I like cheese

2009-12-23T16:53:00.004-05:00

I've discovered some interesting facts about myself in the past couple of years. One of which, is that I like cheese. I mean, I've always loved mac and cheese and melted cheese on the occasional burger but that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about getting serious enjoyment out of the taste of cheese. Surprisingly, this new found pleasure in cheese has helped to hone my mindfulness.

Time alone, truly with, and within myself, is hard to come by nowadays. But the other day during lunch, I was able to be within. Fully. Perfect cup of English breakfast tea - which means with a splash of half and half and just enough honey. Hot, piping, Italian sesame baguette fresh from the oven. Tiny saucer of olive oil sprinkled with a little course sea salt. Five morsels of gorgonzola and a small triangle of Parmigiano. Oh the flavors and the textures! It was a party in my mouth and on my tongue. Each taste was exquisite.

And with each bite, the sun shone brighter through my window. The quiet was even more soothing. Surrounded by the mess that is my kitchen, appreciation had grown.

Appreciation. Gratitude. Mindfulness. It's all inter-connected. We are all so inter-connected. There is no beginning and no ending. We are the beginning and the ending. I am. you are. He is. She is. It is.

Mindfulness is a powerful tool. THE most powerful tool. Usually things or people with power can be corrupted easily. Not so with mindfulness.

May our collective mindfulness enjoy some cheese.

It's Been A Minute...

2009-10-14T16:47:00.002-04:00

Wow. I just re-read my post about the birth of our babies from July 2007. What an incredible two plus years it has been. Life and death. Life and death. The Circle of Life and death always continues.

*We miss you brother Antonio Xavier Benjamin*

Now, here I am. I begged for just one. I was blessed with two. Two beautiful, healthy, amazing, amazing little beings with big big spirits. How can I be so selfish to want another? How can I be so crazy to want to put myself (and my friends and family) through the torment once again? With all of the risks, why does my heart still say Yes? My heart is not domineering with its opinion. Rather it whispers Yes. Steadfast, it whispers, Yes. While my head screams NO! NO! NO! My heart gently whispers Yes.

I have tried to reason with my heart. I am so blessed. It will be really really hard. What if, what if, what if...but my heart still calmly whispers Yes. It reminds me that I would not want to carry the burden of such a huge regret. It tells me that somehow, someway, we would do it. It shows me in my dreams.

I wish I was ok with other options. But I'm not. I am far from perfect but, for the most part, I know what I know. Which is not much at all. But I know what I feel.

My heart supports me.
The Universe does too.
Leap
of FAITH.

FREE TIBET

2008-03-18T09:09:00.002-04:00

A tiny, peaceful land where spirituality reigned supreme was violently overtaken and remains in the hands of the oppressor.

Integrity
Sanity
Humility
Nothingness
Nothingness
Nothingness

When will they realize that it is only nothingness that matters?

FREE TIBET

The Circle of Life

2007-07-31T16:19:00.000-04:00

My last post on Ji and the City was about death.

This one is about Life.

I am sure my three former fans of Jiandtheicty are long gone and now reading some other fabulous blog. But the urge to blog hath arisen in me once again - at least for today.

Since my last post, big things have happened. Perhaps the "biggest" thing of all. Life. Just hours before Frantz passed into the next realm, Ji's son and daughter were conceived. Yes, there is now a baby boy Ji and baby girl Ji. And I must say, I've never seen anything quite so mindblowingly remarkable. They are fab-u-lous, amazing, precious, sweet, sweet, sweet...

One might wonder how I know exactly when the Ji babies were conceived. Modern medicine is grand isn't it? Round up to six long years. Yep, that's how long our baby-making battle took. There were losses. Losses of pregnancies, losses of dignity, losses of caring about ones own health, losses of hope. And, really, what is worse than lost hope? There were endless doctors visits, shots, surgeries, tears. There were so, so many tears. But in the end, now the beginning, we are the lucky ones. There are way too many others who don't have the luck we had. Way too many. There is no fairness. It's a seemingly random and cruel lottery. The IVF lottery, that is.

The last time I saw Frantz was on September 16, 2006. We went to a friend's birthday party in the village. That night I was to start my Lupron for what would be our fifth and successful IVF cycle. For those of you who are not familiar with Lupron, be glad. Be very glad. So, like the junkie that I was, I shot up in the car before we went to the restaurant.

At one point during the evening, Frantz wanted to speak with me alone. He, like many of our friends, knew about our struggle to have a baby. Frantz had a deep understanding of the pain caused by our battle. He always believed we would have a baby. So, this night he took me aside. Frantz had recently been traveling in Europe for some art exhibits. He told me that while he was in Barcelona, he went to his favorite chapel and lit a candle for us. He took me by the shoulders, looked me directly in the eyes and said that I would be pregnant within the year. My cynical, defeated self responded by saying that was nice but would I actually have a baby? I'd been pregnant twice before but still had no baby. He ignored my cynicism and said that I would have a baby within the year and that it would be a girl. He said it with absolute conviction.

Frantz died in the early morning hours of Oct. 10, 2006. Our babies were conceived just hours before on October 9, 2006. I was never able to speak with Frantz again. But we have communicated. He helped us get through an extremely difficult pregnancy.

I went on complete bedrest at my 17th week of pregnancy. I was at serious risk of pre-term labor and of losing our babies. To say that I was scared would be quite an understatement. After that long and draining day at the hospital, when we were told of our risk - I heard Frantz. As clear as day, he told me, "Don't worry - I got this!" Yes, I realize how crazy this sounds. But I'm sorry, it's true. Frantz knew it would be ok.

Our babies were born June 5, 2007 at 36 weeks. Healthy and amazing. There was a time we prayed that I would make it to 24 weeks (the point of viability) and then to 28 weeks, 29, 30 and on and on. Thankfully, with the prayers of many - and the help of Frantz we surpassed our hopes. Thank you Spirits. ThankyouThankyouThankyou...ForeverandeverThankyou.

I drafted the majority of this post when I was still very sleep deprived in July and have just looked at it again now in December. Our babes are now six months old and somehow get more and more amazing with each day. The joy that they bring to our hearts and spirits is not quantifiable. I am happier than I have ever been. They are true miracles. We are blessed. We are blessed. We are so, so blessed.

Gone Too Soon

2006-10-18T19:46:00.000-04:00

SO what does is take to get me out of my blogging slump? I started this blog as a distraction and a creative outlet for myself while I traversed some murky waters. It worked in the beginning, didn't it? But then s-l-o-w-l-y I lost steam. I allowed myself to drown a bit in those murky waters. But I'm back. At least for today. Why? Because I need to pay tribute to a person who was so full of passion, so full of talent, so full of conviction, realer than the most real; that he had to be taken from this realm.

I came to know Frantz Simpson (left in picture) through my husband (right in picture.) Although my husband is an only child, he has many brothers and Frantz was one of them. Frantz was an artist. Talented. Gifted. Man, he was so gifted. The depth, richness, in his paintings and drawings is profound. Endless. Return upon return to one of Frantz' paintings finds you something new each time.

There were many reasons to love Frantz. Many reasons to admire him. More than anything though, Frantz walked the walk. Everyday. While the rest of us, myself first and foremost, agonize over how unhappy we are in our jobs, wondering what we should do with our lives, Frantz lived his dream, his passion. Everyday. A graduate of Cornell, he could have done anything with his life. And so, he did what he knew how to do best. He followed his passion, he used his gifts, he created art and through it, life.

While his life flashed before him as he transitioned into the next realm I know Frantz had no reason for regret. For his entire short life Frantz was unafraid. He was a beautiful example of the light within.

Gone too soon...

Frantz lost his life when he was struck by a car in the early morning of October 10th. I believe wholeheartedly that in the nanoseconds right before he was hit, that he was flooded with a sense of peace.

No regrets.

Frantz Simpson.

The brother who walked the walk.

Everyday.

Remembering September 11, 2001

2006-09-10T19:39:00.000-04:00

*I realize it has been a very long time since I have posted. New work restrictions and various personal things are my excuses. I also realize that Jiandthecity does not normally deal with such non-snarky topics but September 11, 2001 is a day that started a time in my life that I will forever remember. And so friends I share with you here parts of my handwritten journal entry from this morning. (This is stream of consciousness people so don't expect the best writing.)

9.10.06
Five years ago today was the last day of innocence for me and for my beloved city. Much of the world has forgotten. No, they remember in the sense that it makes a good headline -extra! extra! read all about it -"5 Year Anniversary of the attacks on the twin towers!" and that it makes a seemingly good excuse for everything from war through racism and even frivolity. But they do not remember the utter sadness, depression, and unequivocal feeling of loss that came with that day. They do not remember the shock and horror of thinking that you knew someone in that burning tower as you watched it, helplessly, on t.v. They do not remember the acrid smell of poisonous toxic chemicals that hung over lower Manhattan and drifted over downtown Brooklyn for weeks. They do not remember the blank looks on peoples faces as they walked for miles covered in thick gray ash. They do not remember the cry of sirens that seemed neverending, shrieking like a mother who lost a child. They do not remember the millions of little pieces of corporate Americas documents falling from the sky over the Promenade in Brooklyn, like snow falling in the winter. Except this was not wintertime, the day had crystal clear blue skies except for that huge cloud of black poison hovering over my beloved city. Hovering over where the happiest day of my life took place just 17 short days earlier. Gone now. Like the thousands of lives effected by that spirit-testing day. No they do not remember all of these things. They watched it on t.v. like it was a really good terrifying movie. They did not hear the boom of the second plane smashing into the second tower. I did. I heard it. I smelled it. I felt it. I saw it. I touched it. Now permanently a part of me, never to be forgotten. Always to be remembered. Not because "those crazy militants" need to pay, but because our city, my heart, was wounded for life. Etched in my heart forever, the days of innocence lost.
I remember.

BET Awards Show - Ridiculous

2006-06-28T11:53:00.000-04:00

There are many things one could ruminate upon regarding BET - not at all all good, mind you. However, Ji always gives props where props are properly due. And last night, the BET Awards which aired live from that big city on the west coast, deserved mad, much, many props. Excluding that chic that is always half nekked and writhing all over the place, the performances on the show were overall phenomenal.

Ji's age is certainly catching up with herself because, honestly, I did not know who half those kids were that were performing. Nonetheless, a few of them actually have some talent! The Coles girl and that Ne-yo? child, both good. But the crazy, collective, concentrated props go to the legit performers who we all know and love...Prince -ridiculous as always, the Busta performance -ridiculous, the Chaka tribute -ridiculous, Prince -ridiculous, Mary J. -ridiculous, oh and did I mention Prince? Well, he was ridiculous, as always.

My beloved Prince has been popping up all over the place, thank Goodness. I just want to know when he's starting the 3121 tour. Anyone?

Anyhoo, nice job BET, much appreciated. (Oh and I hope this is not really necessary but just in case, N.B. "ridiculous" is being used here as the utmost of compliments.)

Prince Surprises Brooklyn

2006-06-16T12:15:00.000-04:00

Apparently, His Royal Purpleness surprised the crowd at the Maceo Parker concert in Prospect Park last night. That's in Brooklyn, for those of you who are not Brooklynites. I can not believe I missed it! Has Prince ever been in Brooklyn before???

And, of course, this morning he graced the Good Morning America Summer Concert stage in Bryant Park, with Sheila E. nonetheless. I made the conscious decision to forego the Bryant Park show. Oh, how I was filled with such regret as I sat in my living room watching him on the boob tube.

I have said it before, and I will say it again; Prince is the most gifted, living, musical legend. His music comes from another realm. And, dang, Sheila E. looked good! Yes? That suit she had on was oh so beautiful, as well. Glad to see she's still living the glamorous life. You go girl!

The Sky is Falling - Prince on American Idol?

2006-05-25T10:48:00.000-04:00

Good lawd what is the world coming to??? Last night, a wee bit before ten p.m., I heard my cellphone buzzing. I saw that it was Sweet Sis calling. (NB - there are two Ji sis' in the world - Sassy Sis, M.D. and Sweet Sis.) Sweet Sis, with urgency in her voice, told me to turn on FOX because Prince was on 'American Idol'. (Hereinafter "AI") I frantically turned it on only to see the last three seconds of the only short man I have ever loved. Sweet Sis said she had been trying to call me since the beginning but our home phone just kept ringing. (Oops, NB to friends and family, the Ji household no longer has a landline.) So, I missed it.

Upon further reflection friends, I must say that I am highly disturbed that His Holy Purpleness would feel the need to perform on a show such as AI. In fact, right after Sweet Sis called, I felt a tightness in my chest. At the time I was, perhaps, in too much denial to realize that said tightness was a direct result of Prince performing on a show that is so beneath him. AI is so far beneath Prince that it is difficult to put into words.

So the question must be asked: Why on earth would Prince, one of the all-time truly gifted geniuses of an artist, feel the need to perform on AI? I forgive Prince for performing with Beyonce, I'm even able to deal with the fact that he is a JW, but this? I, Ji, am completely at a loss.

*My love for you Prince is and always will be in tact but c'mon baby you gotta cut me some slack. Stop dropping these bombs on me. We're here (insert motioning with fingers between Ji and Prince's eyes) remember?

Lash Extensions - IN; Cowboy Anything - OUT

2006-05-23T10:40:00.000-04:00

A permanent fashion OUT, as in it never looks good so don't ever wear it, for me is cowboy anything. Cowboy boots, hats, shirts, anything and everything cowboy is O-U-T for Ji. I have tried to see the style in the cowboy look but I just do not get it. Actual cowboys are not even remotely stylish, nor attractive for that matter. Even when Madonna tried the look for her 'Music' album, it failed. And I'm a big fan of Madge. If anyone could make the cowboy thing look good, it would be Madge. But she didn't; it didn't; cowboy doesn't. 'Nuff said on this anti-fashion topic.

Now, a what could be permanent fashion IN would be the lash extensions that I was reading about in Vogue. (NB, I can't stand Vogue really and would never spend a hard earned cent on the mag. At the spa though, I'll read anything.) Apparently, we can now get falsies (lashes that is) added to our own lashes. Unlike regular false lashes though, these will last between four to six weeks!?! Could it be true? Every gal looks better with dramatic eyelashes. By the end of the article I was ready to leave the spa right away and head for the extensions. That is, until I read the cost. Three hundred bones and up! Gawd. And just like good color, you need to maintain the lashes. This could become yet another expensive addiction. Ji is trying to keep my boundaries on this one. I can not add another expensive routine to my maintenance schedule. Can I?

The Other Love of My Life

2006-05-22T14:14:00.000-04:00

I have two true loves in my love - Mr. Ji and my sweetest Creamy. (Don't ask me to decide who I love more.) Creamy is my 10 year old Staffordshire Terrier who has been with me through thick and thin. He is slightly famous in our neighborhood. We can't walk down the street without people having reactions to him. Sometimes good and sometimes ignorant, reactions abound over my cutest puppy. Yes, he is and always will be my cutest puppy. Cream has more personality than most people I know. Latinos like to call him Crema, I call him Boobah, Da-doo, Sweetest...and on and on. Thank Buddha for our puppies.

Uninspired

2006-05-18T19:49:00.000-04:00

I've obviously been unispired lately dear friends. I apologize sincerely but an artist must have inspiration in order to create art. Perhaps I'll share another vacay photo...all rights reserved by the way.

Fret not, Ji will be inspired once again, I have every faith.

Palmer's Shea Butter Formula - OTC Product Review

2006-05-12T10:25:00.000-04:00

Ok friends, I'm sure that most of you are already aware of the amazingness of Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula lotion. Well, just recently I discovered the Shea Butter Formula! (Hereinafter, SBF) Is it new? Or have I just been too tunnel vision on the Cocoa Butter Formula? (Hereinafter, CBF.)

I am absolutely smitten over this new to me formula. This white in hue lotion, has the same unbeatable texture and non-greasy feel of the CBF. Being an OTC product, you will find it in your local drugstore for merely a few dollars.

The clincher of my smitten-ness over the SBF is the absolutely to die for, so yummy I want to eat it, scent. I love, love, love the light almost fruity scent. It's not the typical shea butter scent. (But all these scents in our products are fake anyway -yes?) But it is absolutely heavenly. I shall continue to slather the SBF all over my body throughout this sure to be fab.u.lous. summer. I can only hope you do the same.

Vacay Photo

2006-05-10T17:06:00.000-04:00

Lovelies! I think I figured out how to publish photos (you know Ji is a photographer too -yes?). Now we can really share! First photo is of the view from our cottage on vacay. Enjoy!

Mirrored Doors - Why Must You Torture Me So?

2006-05-10T10:35:00.000-04:00

For the 3 fans of Ji and the City with whom I don't actually work, in our elevators here the doors are mirrored. Every morning when I get on the elevator I silently curse the nimrod that came up with the ingenious idea to make the doors mirrored. Why is it that in my mirror at home I see a half way decent reflection but upon stepping into the elevator, I see a gargantuan woman slightly resembling myself? And to have to start out everyday in this manner is a serious test to a girl's sanity (or attempt at sanity anyway.) The scariest mystery is whether my mirror at home is just being nice to me. Could it be? Is that woman in the elevator reflection the real Ji? Dear Buddha the thought alone is enough to make me want to throw myself down a long flight of stairs!

Aside from the hopefully distorting qualities of the mirrored doors. It does crack me up when the elevator is full, yet no one looks into the mirrored doors. Everyone looks at that little tv screen thingy with the factoids or at their (usually unfashionable) shoes. The little tv screen thingy makes huge sociological statements -yes? Ah! Let me not get too metaphysical here.

I, for one, enjoy looking into the mirrored doors and silently critiquing the other elevator riders fashion choices. Usually goes something like this, "ooo, not good, um, not quite working for ya buddy, who told you to wear that???" Once in a while though I am impressed. And what joy this brings me. A law firm is not fertile ground for high style. So on those rare occasions that someone looks good in the elevator, I send them a telepathic message letting them know they get the Ji seal of approval. Did you get the message?

Fendi Spy Bags - Like Buttah Baby

2006-05-09T14:39:00.000-04:00

I'm itching for a new bag. I've been trying to ignore the itch but it just won't seem to go away. Out darn itch, out I say! Although admittedly not a true fashionable gals way of thinking, I do not enjoy spending large amounts of cash on bags. I adore Fendi bags and I have been coveting the Spy bag for quite sometime now. But I had a revelation a few years ago.

Back in the good ole days of when a designer bag was still under a grand, I was watching a lifestyles show on E! or the Style channel - aren't they the same channel? Anyhoo, on the show they were featuring one of the Fendi family's summer homes on some tropical isle. Suddenly, as I was oooing and aaaing over this home - it hit me! By golly I pay for that home! There I sat, the owner of many designer bags but not a single summer home to speak of. Right then and there, I vowed to stop funding the summer homes of designers until I had my own.

Since my revelation, I do admit, I have broken down and purchased a designer bag here and there. But I will only do so if it is on sale. In my quest to gain "more guns, less butter" (50 points and a mwa for anyone who can name the movie from which that fabulous line comes) I came to realize, that as I kept purchasing over the counter bags, I had an emptiness inside. The OTC bags just don't do for me what a superfluous designer bag does. Let me give you an illustration.

When I was recently in the market for a spring/summer bag, I purchased a Stone Mountain Handbag. I know, a wha? I found them via Lucky magazine. I bought a beige-ish large hobo bag. I was trying to be anti-designer, I was trying to save money, I was trying to be good. I got the bag in late March and here now, barely into May, I am tired of the bag. Although a beautiful, well-crafted bag in its own right, I never loved it. The bag never gave me that jolt of adrenaline, that skip in my step, that designer bags do.

So, now here I sit longing, crying out for, coveting a Fendi Spy bag. (Friends, be warned of the online discount designer sites such as bergacci -most are fake .) As much as I desperately covet, I shall not have thy Spy bag. A girl's gotta keep her boundaries -yes? Perhaps this weekend when I visit designergirl in that moneyed suburb wherein she lives, perhaps, just maybe, designergirl will loan me one of her many sticks o' butter.

Keeping Bathing Suit Tabs

2006-05-05T10:56:00.000-04:00

Helloo lovelies! Yes, I missed you all terribly. Holiday was wonderful. Now back to the daily but fabulous grind that is Ji's life in the city. Ah, it's good to be back.

The location wherein Mr. Ji and I holed away was so small that it was rather easy to keep up on daily bathing suit tabs of the other female holidayers. Just how many bathing suits does one need while on a fab.u.lous. holiday?

Personally, I brought three bikinis and a one piece suit for the rare times that I might feel like doing some serious laps in the pool. Although I did wear each suit at least once, for the most part I interchanged between my two favorite bikinis. Which means, I suppose, that I really only needed those two favorite bikinis. Believe it or not, I was actually on the more down to earth side as far as number of bathing suits go. Thus, I reason that three bathing suits is a good number for a holiday.

I give some leeway to those young (and not so young) chickidees who were honeymooning (which seemed like practically everyone.) On one's honeymoon, a girl should certainly go overboard. Overboard with cute bathing suits, cute dresses, cute sandals, cute bags and on and on. Certainly overboard on the love element as well -yes? So, to the honeymooners, take as many suits as make you happy. (But please don't forget the cute coverups to match!) There was one honeymooner there from the London area. I never saw her in the same suit twice. Although she lacked any cute coverups; as I said, London, we'll forgive her.

Most of the other women had north of three bathing suits each. When did this multi-bathing suit condition necessitate itself? Today, four bathing suits, tomorrow what? The craziness has got to stop. Don't you agree friends?

Off for Some R & R

2006-04-24T17:18:00.000-04:00

Friends, Mr. Ji and I will be taking off shortly to hole away someplace in the Caribbean. As much as I love you all dearly, I shall not be musing here while on vacay. But rest assured folks, I'll be thinking deep thoughts for future musings while I sip a pina colada in the private plunge pool on our private veranda of our private thatched roof cottage. How fab.u.lous does that sound? I'll tell you all about it when I return. Or maybe not. Mwa!

The Perfect Trifecta in a Shoe

2006-04-20T19:48:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I was shopping at Marshalls. Yes, Marshalls. I told you I'm a Gemini. I do high-end, I do low-end. What's funny is that when Ji does low-end, Ji really does low-end. I get super frugal. In Prada I'll think, how reasonable, these shoes are on sale for only $420. At Marshalls I suck my teeth when a dress is $29.99.

Shopping at these bargain basement places is never fun. One must pysch herself up to even enter such places. What with the harsh lighting, clothes strewn everywhere and mile long lines, it's a wonder anyone shops at these places. But deep down we are all suckers for a bargain aren't we?

On my recent trip into Marshalls, I hit it big with an amazing pair of shoes. Imagine for a moment three fabulous shoe characteristics wrapped together in one. I found such a pair. I swear it's the perfect trifecta - in a shoe.

My trifecta includes: patent leather, wedge heel and a mary jane effect. Lawd! I first discovered the gems when I nearly tripped over them on the floor. I was about to be annoyed until I looked down to see that a gift had been placed before me. I picked them up and nearly squeeled with delight because lo and behold, they were my size -7. I sat down next to a pile of shoes on a bench to try on the trifecta. Rats! The size 7 was too big! What to do? I contemplated still buying the trifecta, however big. But instead, took another lap around the shoes. And thus, there on the 6.5 rack waiting patiently to be discovered, was another pair of the trifecta. I grabbed, I tried on, I purchased the perfect trifecta.

Some of you more serious shoe shoppers may be wondering who designed such a trifecta. I'm not embarrassed to tell you that Franco Sarto designed the trifecta. I have to say that FS is one of the better low-end designers. Unlike other low-end designers, FS is actually decent quality. We all know, a bargain ain't no bargain if you can't wear it due to discomfort -yes?

The kicker to this entire shoe vignette, of course, was the Marshalls price. Imagine finding the perfect trifecta in a shoe all for the bargain price of just $39.99. Now that's smart shopping friends!

Local Spot Review - Colors Restaurant

2006-04-18T17:30:00.000-04:00

As you may already know, Colors is the restaurant that was recently opened by former employees of Windows on the World at the World Trade Center. The restaurant is a co-op, meaning each employee of Colors also has an ownership interest. Mr. Ji and I, not being of the Easter ilk, checked out Colors this past Friday evening.

The memory of Windows on the World holds an extremely dear place in the Ji family household, as it was the location where Mr. Ji and I vowed to be together until the end of time. We wed at Windows just seventeen days prior to the awful day that was 9/11. More than 70 Windows employees were lost on that day, some of whom had worked at our wedding. And so, it was with great sentiment that we went to Colors.

The menu at Colors is based on a collection of family recipes from the restaurants very diverse group of workers. It is eclectic, interesting and it has something for everyone. We started at the smallish but beautiful dark wood bar. The bartender was very friendly and mixed a luscious cocktail. I had the Lychee Martini. Yum-my. Mr. Ji had a perfect Saphire and tonic and the smoked tuna appetizer. Another yum-my.

We moved to a table for dinner. The restaurant is dark and sophisticated. The service is friendly and competent. (When you make a reservation be sure to request one of the booths.) I was disappointed to find that the lobster roll appetizer that I had read good things about, was not on the menu. Apparently the menu changes depending on which local ingredients are available. I followed the waiters suggestion and tried the fried oysters for an appetizer. Having only tried oysters on one other occasion, I was going out on a very long limb. Honestly, the slimy buggers do nothing for me. But I was working on the veritable assumption that all things fried are yummy. I was initially overwhelmed by the strong fish taste but somehow came around to liking the buggers. They were presented nicely atop a mustard (?) green and parmesan concoction. Mr. Ji had the Colors house cured duck breast appetizer. He said it was de-lish and we'll have to believe him since Ji doesn't eat duckies.

For the main course I had the scallops with an oxtail accoutrement. Normally, I don't eat oxtail either but I tried some and it was very tasty. Had a nice spice to it. Mr. Ji had the steak and gave it two thumbs up. For dessert we had the donuts with dulce center and raspberry dipping sauce. Good to average. Be careful that the dulce center doesn't dulce down the front of your shirt friends. Next time I'll try a different dessert.

A few nota benes here: wine list extensive but not too extensive and good range of prices; brunch just started recently and there is a coupon, for those of you into that sort of thing, on the website www.colors-nyc.com; located at 417 Lafayette Street, dial 212.777.8443; the restaurant is a bit pricey but what isn't in NYC?

Mr. Ji and I will definitely return to Colors. Perhaps we'll see you at the bar. Order me a Lychee Martini if you get there first. Mwa!

The Truth About Facials

2006-04-13T13:55:00.000-04:00

There is nothing that annoys me more (ok, maybe not nothing) than the suggestion that someone should get a facial as a means of relaxation or pampering. The point of a real facial people is not to be pampered, not to be relaxed, not to indulge. The point of a real facial is to clean out your gunk filled pores (aka extractions)! A true cleaning of pores involves serious, oft times excruciating, but necessary pain. (A small price to pay for healthy luminescent skin -yes?) Any serious facial goer knows that one can not be seen in public for the first 24 hours post facial. The problem in this age of a spa on every corner, is that innocent consumers are tricked into believing that a facial is nothing but sheer indulgence. Thus most facials offered today do not focus on the extractions. Instead, the focus is on the mask and the massage. Ji is here to save you from wasting precious time and money on superfluous facials.

More important than any product, regular facials are key to getting that healthy luminescent glow for which we all strive. I learned this about nine years ago, when I first started getting facials. Some important background info on Ji may be helpful here. My whole life I have been tortured with problematic skin. I tried every prescription pill or cream available for many years. Accutane, the supposed "cure" for acne - did it twice. Nothing, let me repeat that... NOTHING worked to change my skin the way that regular facials did. But for a few moments of infidelity here and there, I have been faithful to my aesthetician Ela, owner of Allure Day Spa on 55th between Lexington and Third Ave. in midtown. (Digits: 212.644.5500.)

For the most dramatic improvement in your skin, you should at first go every four weeks, religiously. After you see the improvement, it is not necessary to go as religiously every four weeks. Every six to ten weeks depending on your personal needs, should suffice. I am now at the point where I only go about once every three months. That is, unless an important occasion is upcoming, then I will go every four weeks up to said occasion.

When I first started with Ela, she explained to me why facials are so important. The process of regularly cleaning out your pores prevents build up of gunk (dirt, oils etc.) Build up causes dullness, breakouts and all other anti-luminescent qualities. Additionally, with regular cleaning, your pores actually shrink and function better. That is, the oil will flow freely out of your pores, which is a good thing. It's good because you don't want it getting stuck in your pores, drying up and causing a blemish. Makes sense -yes?

Regarding my dear Ela. Her politics are all wrong but don't make that stop you from loving her. She'll clean out your pores better than anyone else period. When she's done with you, you will at first look like you were beaten up. But have no fear my friends, after nine years of going to her, never a scar. (Which by the way, I can not say about other facialists I have been too.) And after about 24 hours, your skin will be more luminescent than ever before. I have sent many people to Ela and every person who sees her is absolutely delighted with the results. (Nota bene, Allure's waxing and nail services are very good too but skip any of the hair services.)

I have been to other spas throughout the city that are known for facials such as Mario Badescu, Bliss etc. None compare, with the exception of Amore Pacific Spa in Soho. AP is a far behind second to Ela in their extractions. However, the facial experience at AP is so relaxing and the products top notch, that in between seeing Ela, I go to AP for the sheer pampering.

So there you have it friends. The cold hard truth about facials is out now. If I've done my part to help just one of you not be fooled into getting a facial for relaxation purposes, then I have done my part.

Elton's Closet - Elton John's Designer Cast-offs

2006-04-12T11:14:00.000-04:00

So yesterday some well informed friends tipped me off on this "Elton's Closet" shin dig that's going on in the Concourse level of Rockefellar Center. Apparently, Elton John and his hubby, David Furnish, have donated tens of thousands of pieces of their combined wardrobes to raise money for the Elton John AIDS Foundation. One hundred percent of the profits will go to said foundation. The sale started yesterday and continues through the 15th, that's this Saturday for all of you who are confused on the day. Professor Google says the hours are 8:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.

We all know that Elton's weight has fluctuated (whose hasn't?) so there are many different sizes, except for the shoes -natch. And rumor has it that they'll be replenishing the loot daily. So no need to worry your pretty little heads about going later in the week.

Now, whether you are a fan of either Mr. John or Mr. Furnish, is hugely irrelevant here. (For the record, Ji is a fan of neither.) The only relevant fanaticism here is the massive savings to be had on designer duds. My well-informed friends who were first in line at the sale yesterday, all came out with prizes. This group of friends is a diverse mix, so there is something to be had for all. Each of the friends bought a Versace shirt for fitty bucks! The icing on the cake is that when you purchase, you'll receive a $25 gift card to Saks (one of the sponsors.) Do the math friends, that's a Versace shirt for $25 bucks plus a 3% down payment on a pair of shoes at Saks!

Shopping for charity, discounts on designer, credit at Saks - it's a win win people!

Embracing A Fashion Faux Pas

2006-04-11T08:33:00.000-04:00

Recently, Mr. Ji and I found ourselves on the upper west side. Such an occurrence does not happen all too often, so we decided to have brunch at Sarabeth's. As popular as Sarabeth's is, neither one of us had ever dined there. Aside from feeling slightly like we were in a college cafeteria due to the other clientele, the meal was enjoyable. However, what was most enjoyable, if not perhaps slightly painful, was listening in on the first and/or blind date scenario that was going on right next to us. Similar to many restaurants in the city, we were practically sitting on top of them, thus there was no need to strain in order to listen in. (Nota bene to my single friends, in my humble opinion Sarabeth's is not a good first/early date place.)

The blind daters were a couple in their early to mid twenties. She was sort of cute and showed a good attempt at being fashionable. He was sort of (ok, very) dorky and registered a negative on the fashionable scale. From the moment we sat down, it was obvious that she was merely focusing on getting to the end of the subject blind date. Poor girl. I give her credit because at least she was nice. Single Ji would have never stayed in such a boring circumstance.

I'm guessing that a common trait with nervous dorks is that they tend to talk too much. Though merely speculation here, such was fact for the dorky blind dater. (Mr. Ji and I both wanted to turn to dorky blind dater and tell him to shut his pie hole for a minute.) One of the many topics that the blind daters covered was a fashion faux pas, that I admit, I have readily embraced: wearing sneakers to work.

Dorky blind dater was confused by it and asked sort of cute blind dater what she thought. She told him that she would never wear sneakers to work. Now friends, there was once a time that Ji said she would never wear sneakers to work as well. And, honestly, this is a faux pas that took time to grow on me. Furthermore, if Ji was still on the market, I probably would not be seen in sneakers. However, with age and commitment comes a sense of practicality that seeps into ones life. No matter how fabulous one once was.

I remember a couple of years ago when my friend "Dante" came to have lunch with me and I wore my sneakers. (Admittedly, I wouldn't normally wear them to lunch with someone but I had been working 90 hours a week at the time and just. didn't. care. You've all been there, I'm sure.)Dante was aghast that I would be wearing sneakers and running sneakers at that!

I've since gotten some cute Pumas. Everytime I'm wearing my Pumas and I see a woman in her stilletos, I give her a silent nod for being cute but I grin to myself for being comfortable.

What truly sealed the deal for me and embracing the sneaker faux pas was 9/11. (Sorry to bring up such a heavy subject but necessity calls here.) After 9/11, the blackout in '03 and the most recent transit strike, I believe every city girl should have a pair of sneakers with her at all times. This doesn't mean you must wear them everyday but keep them in your gym bag. Because in a city as dynamic as ours, one never knows when a fashion faux pas may become a fashion lifesaver.

Every Gal Needs a GB

2006-04-10T10:31:00.000-04:00

Every gal should have a gay boyfriend. There are so many positive aspects to having a GB. He'll shop with you, he'll talk products with you and he'll be sure to tell you when you look fat in that outfit. Gay men have a true appreciation of style and beauty. So when you're given a compliment by your GB, pat yourself on the shoulder because you'll know you really look good.

My GB, bless his heart, and I went out this past Friday evening for a few drinkies. Although we normally patronize straight establishments together; the thought occurred to us Friday - why? I mean, I have a Mr. Ji but GB has no GB! Thus, after one drink at a place where the bar crowd was particularly not attractive, we decided to switch up our routine and hang out with GB's team.

Our first stop was a place called XES (how creative.) Although GB does not classify it as such, the place is a bit divey for my taste. But the patrons were fun and we had a grand time. GB was hit on a few times but by no one of any interest. After a couple of margaritas, we headed down a few blocks to Elmo.

Elmo is a mostly gay restaurant (natch in Chelsea) that I really like. It was a beautiful night Friday, so we sat outside. Normally I'm not a proponent of eating on the sidewalk but GB wanted to...anywho. We sat next to an attractive man sitting by himself. He had sort of, now use your imagination here friends, an Anderson Cooper look going...but it worked! I thought for sure that GB was annoying the ef out of the attractive Anderson Cooper man because GB was talking on his cell, rather loudly. Turns out, attractive Anderson Cooper man was very sweet and GB and I both took a liking to him. Me for GB and GB for himself, of course. After attractive man got up and said good-bye, I told GB that I wanted him to marry attractive man. GB responded, "me too." At which time, GB leapt up from the table and chased attractive man down to the corner.

After being gone for a good 5-7 minutes, GB returned looking deflated. I asked him what happened. GB told me that attractive man offered GB his number but also said that he had a boyfriend in L.A. To which GB replied, "Sorry attractive man, but homey don't play that way."

You All Know about Primer -Yes?

2006-04-07T09:43:00.000-04:00

Every so often I find myself in a charitable mood and freely provide my services as a personal shopper. Recently, I provided my services to one of my girlfriends. This particular charitable episode is one that will be ongoing. But I am thrilled to let you know that so far we've had great success! The first outing with said girlfriend was for clothes and our second outing was to the Laura Mercier counter at Bendels.

I must disclose that I am highly partial to LM products. The most important part of a flawless face is a flawless canvas on which to work. Thus, the foundational products used are of superior importance (akin to a good cleanser and moisturizer.) LM makes amazing foundational products. I was surprised to discover that my girlfriend for whom I was personal shopping, did not know about Primer. You all know about the magical qualities of a good Primer -yes? I thought everyone knew about Primer?!

The products necessary for a flawless canvas include, but are not limited to, cleanser, moisturizer, Primer, tinted moisturizer and/or foundation, concealer and translucent powder. Friends if you don't know about Primer already, listen up. Primer has long been a secret weapon of the professional make-up artist but only recently came onto the market for us lay people. LM's Primer is like spackle for your face, but in a good way. It'll fill in all your holes, lines and other detrimental qualties to a flawless face. Then, it'll grab onto your make-up and keep it in place all day and into your fabulous night. As if that weren't enough, LM's Primer also promotes that luminescent glow for which we all strive. You only need a small amount to cover your entire beautiful face. Oh and nota bene, a celebrity make-up artist once advised me to wear Primer everyday even when not wearing other make-up because "it'll protect your face" from the dirty elements that surround us in the city.

By the by, LM just came out with an oil-free formula of her Primer. I thought for sure this would become another obsession. Fretfully, I had to return the oil-free formula after trying it out for a few days. Much to my complete surprise, the oil-free formula actually made my face feel supra greasy by the days end. One would think an oil-free formula would do just the opposite -yes? Additionally, the oil-free formula lacks the enhancement of the luminescent glow. And we've already established the ultra-importance of this quality.

As a side note, even as a confirmed product junkie, I do not wear product everyday. Notwithstanding celebrity make-up artists advice (above) to wear Primer everyday. In fact, I firmly believe in the importance of letting your beautiful face breathe unencumbered by product on a regular basis. Thus, I usually only wear Primer for special events and other occasions wherein the possiblity of being photographed is high. That, or on days when I'll be having a fabulous night.

I've also heard only phenomenal things about Smashbox Photo Finish Primer but I've never strayed on LM so I can not attest to the phenomenality.

If I had to choose a top ten list of products, Laura Mercier's Primer would be floating somewhere in the top three. Good, now you all know about Primer. Go out and try it. You can thank me later friends.

Possibly the Best Job in the World - Critical Shopper

2006-04-06T11:02:00.000-04:00

Every Thursday I look forward to reading the only truly enjoyable section of the NY Times, the Style section. I am green with envy over Alex Kuczynski. She, quite possibly, has the best job in the world. She shops, writes, gets paid. Why did my parents not tell me this was a career choice? Her column is called "Critical Shopper" and appears every Thursday. Her writing is funny, informative and creative. Having been to most of the stores she reviews, I almost always agree with her assessments and thus I trust her judgement. Miss Kuczynski is either very wealthy or she is given a nice budget from which to purchase. She's always purchasing. Do you think the Times actually gives her money to purchase? Today she splendidly and entertaingly reviews Barneys. Enjoy!

Halle Berry Kicking Arse and Adventures with Bratty Boy

2006-04-05T10:24:00.000-04:00

Let me start by saying that I'm no big fan of Halle Berry as an actress. Throughout her career I have been underwhelmed by her acting ability. Don't even get me started on her Oscar win for that ridiculously bad Monster movie! Yes, she's GORGE (GB's term for gorgeous) and her body is sick - these are non-debateable facts. But her acting ability has never been a strong point. That being said, I recently caught Catwoman on HBO (yes, it was a slow night.) I must profess to you that Halle was robbed of critical acclaim for her work as Catwoman. I jest not!

Halle's work in Catwoman displayed more than an iota of acting ability. She nailed the mousy, clumsy, shy girl character perfectly. Yet, she also nailed the assertive, strong, confident Catwoman character. I was highly impressed! I started watching the movie with beyond low expectations but was pleasantly surprised.

My theory on Catwoman's bombing at the box office is this: Hollywood, America, society is not ready to watch a beautiful, strong Black (cat)woman kicking arse! Especially kicking white, mostly male arse. Plain and simple. You can disagree with me but that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

By the by, as you may know, the very handsome Benjamin Bratt plays Halle's love interest in the movie. A few years ago, designergirl and I went with our respective Misters to Parrot Cay in Turks and Caicos for a little R&R. (I truly needed the R&R, designergirl, well that's a whole 'nother post. Her life is basically about shopping and R&R. Yes, I'm jealous, aren't we all?) Anywho, there were a few celebrities also catching some R&R while we were at Parrot Cay. To me, the only celebrity that was worthy of any sort of excitement was, yup you guessed it, Benjamin Bratty Boy.

For those who need to know, the other celebrities included Winona Ryder, fresh off her sticky fingers episode. There were bad jokes flying everywhere about watching your bag when she was around. Poor girl, she really did seem like a tortured soul. She was with an unknown, looked like a rock 'n roller boy. The other celebrity was Matthew Perry, whatever.

Back to Bratty Boy. Ladies and gay friends let me atest, Bratty Boy is perhaps even finer in person. (NB, his wife Talisa Soto is also astoundingly beautiful.) But beyond being beautiful, Bratty Boy and the Mrs. were also friendly and down-to-earth. They showed us pictures of their then 8 month old baby girl and were otherwise very nice. Designergirl and I, of course, were mortified to be seen in our bathing suits in front of such a perfect couple. Later at dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Bratty stopped by our table to say hi etc. Afterward, this woman who was on her honeymoon was practically having a conniption, she was in awe that we "knew" the Brattys. As fun as it would have been to make up stories about our longstanding friendship with the Brattys, we confessed that we had just met them earlier in the day. Ah! And so go the adventures with Bratty Boy.

BO and other Deal Breakers

2006-04-04T10:37:00.000-04:00

Today's topic ain't pretty friends...

The other day a friend asked me for some advice. He wanted to know how he could best break it to a female friend that she had BO. He was particularly concerned because this friend of his is a single female who desperately wants to find her soul mate. Clearly, having BO is a deal breaker for many folks, whether male or female.

His question got us to discussing deal breakers in general. We all have our own beliefs as to what constitutes a deal breaker. Some are more common than others. In addition to BO, another top deal breaker that women exhibit, (I have to believe) is having a moustache. (Easy solution ladies, Sally Hansen Cream Hair Remover for the Face.) How is it that women don't recognize these things as the deal breakers that they are? Is there some sort of self-smell protection that shields those with BO from knowing that they're kickin'?

Apparently this female friend of my male friend doesn't utilize any hair removal techniques under her arms either. (He's noticed it at the gym.) We surmised that the under arm hair can only be detrimental to the said BO problem. Further, the under arm hair, in and of itself, could only be, yet another, deal breaker -yes?

Honestly people, we didn't come up with any gentle approach for letting this woman know that she is laden with deal breakers. As embarrassing as it may be though, I told my friend that if it was me, I would want to know. It's like when you've got something in your teeth, wouldn't you rather be told than to have conversations with 5 different people before seeing yourself in the mirror with parsley stuck all up in your grill?

Ode to the Importance of a Good Moisturizer

2006-04-03T10:07:00.000-04:00

So last week we discussed the importance of a good cleanser. Today, we'll move on to the importance of a good moisturizer. Everyone needs a good mositurizer, no matter what skin type. And ladies who are lucky enough to still be twenty-somethings, the earlier you start, the better. Healthy, glowing skin can not be accomplished without being hydrated.

Like all other types of products,I have tried hundreds (ok maybe an exaggeration, but then again, maybe not) of different moisturizers. My latest addiction is to the entire line of Amore Pacific (hereinafter to be known as AP). AP has four different moisturizers. I have tried all four and love all four. They've got a refining cream moisturizer (possibly oil-free, sorry I can't recall right now), an oil-free hydra-gel, the moisture bound cream and the latest Time Response. All four assist in attaining that luminescent glow for which we all strive.

For the summer/warmer months I like both the refining cream and the hydra-gel. Both are light, non-greasy formulas that keep your skin hydrated and glowing. Supposedly the refining cream, light pink in hue, exfoliates your skin throughout the day. This is good for those of us with problem skin. The hydra-gel is a light blue, well, gel of sorts. It's refreshing and keeps your skin aglow. This formula is also good for problem skin, as it is oil-free, as mentioned above.

The Moisture Bound Cream, is a thicker formula yet it still manages to not be too heavy and/or greasy. The cream is white, as all creams really should be and comes in beautiful packaging. (As do all of the AP products.) I switched to this formula throughout this past winter and I have to say that I love it. It's a bit more moisturizing, so those with dry skin throughout the year, will probably want to stick to this formula. However, after this jar is done, I'll go back to the Refining Cream and the Hydra-gel for the summer, since my skin tends to get more oily during the warmer months.

The final AP cream is the Time Response. This stuff is toted to be a miracle in a jar. You know what, it sort of is. Sadly, though the price point reflects the miracle status. It'll hit ya 'bout $500 per jar. No, no silly friends, I have never paid that much for a product. Even a confirmed product junkie such as myself has her limits. Here's a little tip. AP is available at the AP boutique/spa in Soho and at Bergdorfs. Go to the counter and ask for a deluxe sample. The deluxe part is key, otherwise they'll just give you a couple of packets. The deluxe sample is big enough to last about two weeks depending on how judicious you are with each use. Be warned though people, you may become addicted and then you'll have to send all your friends to get you a deluxe sample every other week. Hey, a product junkie's gotta do what she's gotta do -yes?

Oh, by the way, the spa in Soho offers wonderfully relaxing treatments. The facials are actually pretty decent. I am an extreme critic of facials. A good one is hard to find. The focus of a good facial should always be the extractions, the point being to clean out those pores! AP will give you more extractions if you specifically request. If you are seeking relaxation, Amore Pacific is a good bet.

I must note that I do not usually stick with the same brand of product for too long because as a junkie, I'm always wanting to try new junk! But Amore Pacific is just that good. Could it be that I've found my one true love in skincare? But alas, only time will tell.

Too Many Choices

2006-03-31T10:55:00.000-05:00

On normal work days when I do not have plans for the coming evening, it doesn't take me long to get ready in the morning. As far as wardrobe goes, I am ashamed to admit it, but in my older age I have succumbed to what my GB and I call "lawyer drag." Lawyer drag is typical, conservative corporate casual gear. Blech. But I do it, I suppose because it's so easy. That and the fact that sitting on my arse for 12 hours does not inspire me to be fully Ji-ed out everyday, know what I'm sayin'? Although my girl Shir points out that even when in lawyer drag, I usually have at least a touch of Ji-ness going on, whether the earrings, the boots, you get the picture.

However, on mornings when I know that I will be partaking in evening festivities, I put more thought into my get-up for the day (natch.) I don't really strive for that whole "it goes from day, straight into evening" thing that magazines are always pushing. I prefer to just focus on the evening.

Tonight Mr. Ji and I will be having dinner at a sexy restaurant with some friends. Funny thing this morning is that I never doubted what apparel I'd be wearing (kimono inspired gray dress from funky cute boutique "Flirt" in Brooklyn), instead it was the jewelry that threw me for a loop-de-loo. My first selection was a beautiful chunky gold and ruby red necklace from India. This piece is so substantial that I have to go light on any other pieces. So, I had it on, it looked great but, being Ji, I wanted more. I added a red, triple wrap, beaded bracelet and some small, red, looks like berries earrings. I thought that was it, but clearly it wasn't. The earrings came off and I put on a pair of black crystal, long and skinny dangly earrings. Obviously, now the necklace had to come off. I switched the red beaded bracelet for two wooden, one green, one deep brown, bangles. Eh, still not quite right.

Finally, to my delight, I remembered this pair of wind chime like, long, silvery- white earrings that I bought upstate. Bingo. Took off the bangles, added my tennis bracelet duo, put on my always wear it Buddhist bead bracelet on my right arm, and I was done. Honestly, there were some other combinations in there too but I realize there is virtue in brevity.

Just as I thought I was done with the indecision, I realized that I had to choose my outer wear. This past weekend I bought a dream of a trench coat at "La Vedette" a cute little boutique on 5th Ave. in Brooklyn. The trench is double breasted with large buttons and is an antique white color (it is so a color.) My dilemma with this dream of a coat is that I am deathly afraid of it getting dirty but I can't never wear it. Life is too short to leave our beautiful things in the closet -yes? So, I bravely put it on, saddled up my bag (new from Stone Mountain Handbags, but that's a whole 'nother post) and thought I was ready to leave. That is, until I had the ingenious idea to try on my long, custom made beige, soft as butta, leather jacket on instead. Bingo again. The only problem was that now I had to switch bags because the mango leather of the bag clashed with the beige of the jacket. This conundrum caused me to pull out my all-time favorite, forever fabulous, patent leather Fendi bag. Finally people, supremely Ji-ed out, having survived the many choices, I was ready to go.

Local Spot Review - Elements Beauty Lounge

2006-03-30T09:28:00.000-05:00

Brooklynites, and those adventurous enough to travel into the hood, behold! There is a new primping spot on the block. The stats: Element Beauty Lounge, located at 73 5th Ave. btw. Prospect Place and St. Marks, phone 718.398.2969. I have three syllables for this place: FAB. U. LOUS. Elements is super clean, stylish, reasonably priced and most important of all, filled with highly skilled and pleasant employees. You will not get a better manicure/pedicure anywhere. As if it needs to get any better, the joint is open 7 days a week? Yep, 7.

By the by, last week I discovered a new perfect deep burgundy red polish(at the suggestion of my favorite person there who shall remain nameless because it is already hard enough to get her.) The polish is called "Prune Danish" and it's Opi. I'm normally an Essie girl myself but favorite employee woman told me that Opi usually lasts longer. Such an assertion is probably open to debate but I must tell you, I had my nails done Sunday and they still look perfect on this beautiful Thursday morning. I kid you not, not a chip to be seen on these nails.

Also, Michelle who is the general manager does waxing too. She's my new brow girl. Won't go to anyone else. She's good, very good. Elements also offers massages and facials etc. I plan on trying a massage and will get back to you on the verdict. I have a facialist of almost 10 years so I won't be able to report on the facials unless I am so moved to try one just for the sake of you, my dear friends. (P.S. I'll blog about my unbeatable Ela another time.)But, listen, take my advice and check out Elements. My only complaint if I have to have one is the choice in music played at Elements. I think it's considered pop? rock? whatever it is, it's just not my cup of tea. But a complaint to me may be a plus for you - yes? A final point, if you are in a hurry then you may just want to go to the cheapy nail place across the street from Key Food. They are decent enough, especially when you need to be in and out and only want to pay $6.

For comparison sake, I have been to D'Mai Urban Spa up the street from Elements and I have to give them a Ji hearty two thumbs down. I so wanted to love D'Mai when they first opened. The hood had been in desperate need of a fab.u.lous. spa. I tried a facial, I tried a manicure and pedicure; I tried to love them but I just couldn't. It was all bad (that's bad meaning bad, not bad meaning good.)It's a beautiful spa but it lacks in quality when it comes to services.

For my friends who don't ever venture over the bridge into the wonderful borough that is Brooklyn. The best place for nails/waxing in Manhattan is the downtown Rescue. Ah, but your beautiful self already knew that!

Serenaded by Former Big Wigs

2006-03-29T09:52:00.000-05:00

Last night my beloved husband and I got a good laugh when he was reading the Financial Times. There on the front page of one of the sections was a big color photo of Thomas Middelhoff. Who? Exactly. Middelhoff is the former CEO of Bertelsmann/BMG. Why did the photo bring us such chuckles? Thus the story...For my birthday dinner in 2002, my beloved husband and I went to Nobu. There sitiing next to us was this Thomas Middelhoff with an unknown female companion. We don't remember how but, somehow, we started talking and when Middelhoff was told that it was my birthday, he serenaded me with his rendition of the well known American classic "Happy Birthday." It was funny, yet embarrassing all at the same time. Middelhoff then pointed out Tommy Motola across the restaurant and proclaimed that we should get Tommy to come over and sing as well. Thankfully, my protestation of such an idea worked. The kicker to this whole vignette is that the next day Middelhoff was fired as CEO of Bertelsmann. Ah such fun! Anywho, apparently he is now the head of a German retail chain called Karstadt and he is desperately trying to reverse the companies debt situation. He's firing German retail employees all over the place. Good job Middelhoff, good job.

The Irony of the Perfect Single Man

2006-03-28T08:55:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got a call from a dear friend of mine, he's like a brother to me. Let's call him Dante (what? John is so boring.) Dante is, for all intents and purposes, the perfect single man. I know, I know, no one is perfect but he comes pretty darn close my friends. Let's go over the list, shall we? Tall -check (6'3''?); F-I-N-E -check; well educated and professional, check; conscientous -check; well-dressed -check; athletic -check; geez what else is there? Whatever else there is -check, check and check.

I met Dante about eight-nine? years ago when we worked at the same firm together. I remember when he first started at the firm(he was a paralegal at the time.) Word shot around that there was a new F-I-N-E paralegal on the premises. (For those of you without any corporate law firm experience, the F-I-N-E factor amongst the male population is abnormally low.) Secretaries, paralegals and associates alike took notice of Dante. Of course, he'd been used to such attention so it didn't really phase him. Fast forward, had I not been in a committed relationship already with my then boyfriend, now beloved husband, Dante and I would have most probably dated, had a falling out and would never have ended up the close friends that we are today. Thus we are both happy that I was already committed.

Anyway, back to the phone call yesterday. Dante called me, as he has so often, to discuss his woes with women. One would think that being as almost perfect as he is, that Dante would have been taken off the market a long time ago. But he just can't seem to find the one. He's constantly got a few different women in the rotation but his Mrs. Dante has thus far been elusive. He's come close, or so he thought, on a few occasions but he just can't seem to hit the mark.

What makes this whole scenario even more baffling is the number of women, particularly Black women since Dante is himself a Brother, who claim that there are no more good single men left. Sho 'nuff ladies, they are out there!

I have another single friend in the same category as Dante. This friend, whom my GB (gay boyfriend) calls "Brickhouse," also has all the checks, yet no woman. Although I have no doubt that both of my friends will someday be happily married, I just marvel at the irony of it all.

Faux Lawyers All Over the Place

2006-03-28T08:45:00.000-05:00

This morning I went down to our cafeteria to get a vanilla yogurt and some bottled water only to walk into a room filled with extras dressed in suits. Hilarious! The cafeteria is now the holding area for the Clooney movie. A partner and I agreed that we could have, and should have, been the extras. We're real lawyers for goodness sake, you can't beat that for authenticity! The funny thing, of course, is that no one wears suits anymore. With the exception of the occasional old school partner, or someone who has to go to court/meeting outside of the firm, lawyers don't wear suits anymore! (Much to my sheer joy.) It's just actors who play lawyers that wear suits. Ah, the irony, or something like that. On the way back up to my office I saw another famous actor but I'll be darned if I can remember his name. Guess we'll have to wait for the movie to come out.

Product Junkie Review

2006-03-27T09:39:00.000-05:00

Ok, so as a confirmed, no hope of rehabilitation product junkie, I am constantly asked what is my favorite product. I'm sorry folks but there is no way I could ever pick just one. However, as far as categories go, I believe strongly in the importance of a good cleanser and a good moisturizer. Thus, today let's focus on cleansers. I have tried so many different skincare products that I am scared to think of the not-so-small fortune I have spent. But we must look at the money as an investment - yes? Currently I am using three cleansers (we need different cleansers for different occasions.) I'm using Dermalogica Special Cleansing Gel, Dermalogica Dermal Clay Cleanser and DDF Pick Me-Up Pink Grapefruit Cleanser. I started focusing on Dermalogica after having a conversation with the owner of a major line of retail product shops a couple of years ago. Major owner told me that she once asked the editor of British Vogue which skincare line she thought was the best. British Vogue editor answered without faltering, Dermalogica. When I first tried the Dermal Clay Cleanser, I thought that I loved it. The menthol action combined with the green clay gives the sensation of deep cleansing. It's a good cleanser for post workout or other intensive sweat causing activities. My only complaint is that I don't think it adds to that healthy glow for which we all strive. The Dermalogica Special Cleansing Gel, however, is exactly that. The special gel has a beautiful light lavendar scent and a wonderful smooth feel on your skin. It's not too harsh but cleanses deeply. Best of all, the special gel promotes a luminescent glow. Thus, the special gel is on my top five list and will be permanently in my rotation. Onto the DDF Grapefruit. Eh. This is a foaming cleanser that is quick and easy to use and cleanses well. I have one major complaint that is enough to make me never buy this product again. I decided to try this cleanser because of the grapefruit. One would think that a product with the word grapefruit in the name would smell like, well, grapefruit. Not only does this "grapefruit" cleanser not smell like grapefruit but whatever it smells like is not pleasant. You may be asking yourself, why would Ji buy a product if she didn't like the way it smells. I'm about to let you in on a coveted source friends. I buy most of my skincare products on the trusty shopping haven known as the internet. www.medi-spastore.com No shipping costs, no tax and they are always having sales. Only problem, of course, is that you can't smell the products beforehand! I've been shopping at medi-spastore for a while now. They are usually super fast in their shipping. However, one time they did take over a week to ship. They redeemed themselves on the next order and every order since. Thus saving our business relationship. So, friends, continued good wishes in your quest for that luminescent glow. But remember, the glow always starts from within. Please feel free to share which cleansers you love.

Clooney on the Premises

2006-03-27T09:31:00.000-05:00

Word on the street is that George Clooney will be in our offices today filming a movie. Straight women and gay men alike are all a flutter. All of the excitment really cracks me up. It's not as if George is going to stop by and have lunch, ya know? Although I do understand why George does it for some people, he just doesn't do it for me. I mean if there were only 3 men left in the world and he was one of them, I wouldn't cry if I was forced to procreate with him in order to keep the human population afloat. But he's not on my top ten list, probably not even top twenty for that matter. I'm just upset because apparently he's playing a lawyer in the movie and I already have him cast as a lawyer in the movie that is to be made out of my first novel! Oh the conundrum.

Muffin Tops be Gone!

2006-03-25T19:14:00.000-05:00

Yesterday while I waited in my doctors office, I read a Newsweek article regarding the rising of waistbands in jeans. Thank the Lawd! The article reminded me of my recent quest for the perfect pair of jeans. I, former President of the "I Hate Jeans" club, am now a convert. I've officially joined the "I Heart Jeans" club. It's a much happier club, I have to say. Before my recent quest, I owned one pair of Mavi jeans that I bought about six or seven? years ago. They aren't the most comfortable jeans but they did the job. These Mavis were bought before stretch and arse-showing low riders came on the scene. They are basic, good for daytime weekend wear. They were loyal and sturdy but had to be retired. I also have a pair of super stretch, super arse-showing, low riders that I bought for a pretty penny at Butter in Brooklyn. These funky in a good way jeans, I can't even remember the brand, are good for going out at night with four inch heels, as long as there's no sitting down involved. They are super comfortable but oh so tight and as I said, arse-showing. These being my only 2 pairs of jeans created the need and thus the quest for the perfect jeans. I started my research by asking my most jean obsessed friends which brands they would recommend. After a long and arduous process, (which included going to Bergdorfs and Bendel only to be completely depressed because all of the jeans are made for six feet tall women weighing 100 pounds) I consulted the great cultural leader of our time - Oprah. I think it was no less than divine intervention that caused Oprah to do her jean intervention right when I needed it most. I checked out Oprah's perfect pair of jeans - the AG Club. After being depressed by my actual shopping experience, I turned to the trusty, always reliable cyber shopping haven otherwise known as the internet. I Googled the Ag Club, found www.revolveclothing.com (love revolve!) and ordered the AG Club in Legend (the darkest wash.) I also ordered the Citizens of Humanity, Ingrid jean in the darkest wash. I bought the Ingrid on the suggestion of my shopping obsessed friend, let's call her designergirl. Designergirl has about 50 pairs of jeans and is forever on the quest for the perfect pair. The COH Ingrid used to be her perfect pair until, she says, she had her baby. Post baby, designergirl is now back on the constant quest. She's just as skinny post baby but something about hips being different...anyway, the AG Club is the answer! (Thanks Oprah.) The Ingrid is a good 2nd place so I kept both pairs. Luckily for me, I also recently visited designergirl and she unloaded about 4 pairs of her misses (as opposed to hits)on me. Yeah that's about $700 worth of denim baby! She gave me another pair of Ingrids, a pair of COH Faye, a pair of Rock and Republics, and a pair of Sevens. God she's a good friend. So, now post quest, Ji is happy in the city in her comfortable, yet stylish jeans. The best part of the jeans, of course, is that they are not so low as to cause any unsightly muffin top action. Muffin tops be gone friends!

Never in a Million Years

2006-03-24T09:57:00.000-05:00

Never in a million years did I ever think I would have a blog. But here I am y'all - blogging to the world. I'm a Gemini people so be warned, I could be all over the place. I might throw an inspirational quote around once in a while. Mostly though I'm going to have fun and review products and happenings around the city. I'm a thirtysomething confirmed product junkie living in downtown Brooklyn. I've lived in the city for about 17 years - half my life - and I am truly, madly, deeply in love with my city. So come back regularly to read my musings on all things Ji. That's me - Ji. Welcome to Ji and the City.